BEING GRATEFUL..

We should feel that all the time. We must.. because when you see really see out there, you're still better than others. Not that i say others are not better, but i tell you be thankful and be grateful. I wish you see it sooner than too late...

I have been in my bed, yes at the same one at the same number and seeing all these people with problems. My goodness, i tell you women punya problem ani is not to be taken lightly. You as a woman got to look after yourself. No matter what. Seriously... its sad when its too late and its really horrifying when you see it and when its you.. ITS HORROR!!

I don't know why God put me here for a week or probably more. I got this bit problem.. and i just think why me? But when i am placed here and see the rest and i said 'why them'? Now i saw one of the artist, a singer and a famous one too.. He came in here with his mother and other families.. just had a major operations and its very sad to see all this. I am horrified.. let be the person yang mengalami nya.. Its sad.. but what can i do.. i just see...

Allah let me see all this, maybe i haven't been taking care of me jua. May be not so but yes i did look after myself. ITS A WAKE UP CALL FOR ME!!!!! or maybe i have been working as a radio presenter and i need to tell all the woman in the world what need to do to look after themselves.. just have the time to look after themselves..

IT A WOMAN WORST NIGHTMARE ..... THE CERVIX CANCER, THE OVERIAN CANCER, THE BREAST CANCER AND LOTS MORE... Someone from here told me its like a virus.. VIRUS??

I felt like wanting to cry just by looking at them.. but why should i cry? why should i be the one to feel what i am feeling now? i have no relation to them but i know i am a woman like them too... and THIS IS A WAKE UP CALL!!

Woman with their problems and men with their problems too.. me? Just a minor problems but i am scared with this minor problems. Imagine the OTHERS???

ENGAGED

Yeah.. i am in ward and i am engage.. I haven't got a chance to wear my ring. But i guess that's amazing. Em.. is the pictures right or wrong.. like em.. is it not okay to be engaged when you're lying in bed in ward? or is it not a good sign?

OH.... that's just kelakar lah. But anyway i'm officially engaged. And i have a fiance. Sounds cool and feel cool. How's that? What's so spcial about being engaged? Are you feeling the same thing too.. ?

GETTING MARRIED SOON...

wAH... i wanted to have a simple Akad Nikah.. then bila famili involve.. huhu no more simple like i imagine. This Akad Nikah will be in10 days and i am very excited. But also dalam excitment also ada sadness. I hope and pray that during the d day, someone i love be there too..

I have been looking for a beautiful gown like abaya and hijab..I wanted to have a different style and i found one pictures to my taste. Beautiful. The thing is i am getting married in 10 days and i have not start anything yet. I am going to be simple and bold.. heheh

I am going to get off-white satin and some french lace.. Let see if i can start from there. Just simple as possible. My heart beat hard eh.. Hey did i tell you i got my engagement ring already? Wah beautiful... once i have it i will post it here. You got to see it.. Oh so beautiful.. beautiful. I can't wait. And my wedding ring .. wah i still not yet tercari. I found one but uh.. get ready with the price.. B$5 ++ k. Wah lawa i would want that ring to be in my jari manis wen i nikah nanti.. but not pratical jua. I can get it perhaps when i become DIAMOND. And i will.

I hope this is it.. will post some more later... take care now.

EMmmm..

Really.. i asked myself tadi. What do i want? Sometimes when you watched movie kan, you tend to choose movie yang relate to you or was it just a coincidence? So when i watched THE WOMAN.. well you got to see it yourself jua because entah ah.. somehow it relate to me.. some part of it or was it all..

I said to myself yes true jua.. about men and woman. Well its like a slap on my face.. haha i can laugh now, but in reality that hurts. Its life.. truly that's what spiced it all. Oh i remember a song i wanted to write and of course never get to it, similar with this famous singer.. lyrics sounds like this..

TO ALL THE MAN I'VE LOVED BEFORE
WHO TRAVELLED IN AND OUT MY DOOR...
THEY SAY YOU JUST CAME ALONG
AND NEVER TO STAY LONG...
TO ALL THE MAN I LOVED BEFORE..

let see if anyone could continue that for me.
Just woman only ... haha..

Again i asked myself.. WHAT DO I WANT? YOu got to be selfish sometime. You can't involved your bestest of friends too.. because when they are involved, then you woun't have time to care for yourself.. you would be busy to care for them.. and that's not really what i want..

Again i asked myself.. WHAT DO I WANT? What don't i want?

FORGIVENESS

Balik from work i hug my mom... and told her i love her and i ask for her forgiveness. Mom hug me and kiss me. I felt like a child.. like a child...

BERAYA TADI ...

Uda laki duduk sebelah. Menyirup sup sambil bercerita with me. Uda pakai pink today. Light pink. Juga other cousin's son pun pakai pink. Jam pink and well... not sure kasut pink kah apa. Yang siok yeah with cousins and uda, tangah and the rest of them relatives.

One moment.... i sat tadi with uda laki. Bercerita pasal Babah. Sabak menitik air mata. Kata Uda he was more than a brother to him. He was just everything. He was something. Uda said i stop fishing... Babah love to fish. And Uda just talk about him.. He said he missed Babah so much.. and without realizing my tears menitik. I wish...

Uda was closed to Babah.. very close. I am so happy though sad .. someone really close menceritakan about him. Something good. Something i missed too ... Al Fatihah untuk Babah Hj.Zainal Abidin Bin Ladi.. semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan di tempat orang orang yang beriman.. Amin..

Pedih eh.. pedih.. kerinduan terlalu pedih untuk di alami. Yang telah pergi begitu lah ceritanya.. sempat uda menyampok sambil mengosok gosok kepala me .. kata uda.. well everybody have to go jua someday..

Been Hard

Thought its going to be easy and simple. Makin hampir makin siksa kepala memikirkan. Terlalu menyakitkan kata kata halangan.. but what? i am not a child and i have my own choice in my life. When people fail in life.. that's not fail. Its just a test from Allah. And that doesn't mean she/he fail, i would fail too...

Since the day i made up my mind, i thought i was doing the right thing. But someone disagree. Some i love so dearly.. why?? I am so hurt but i just have to ignor that feeling because i didnt want it to spoil my thinking...

I wish... but of course lah. Deep inside Allah saja yang mengetahui. Lemah me menahan rasa.. How i wish Babah is around so i can get advice from him.. Ya Allah...

Since malam raya i have not been so tenang.. but alhamdulillah tenang me menjalankan tugas. Amat besar dan berat dugaan yang di beri tapi i know yang di beri setentunya dapat di handle tapi again berat.. sampai pada raya pertama kan menangis sebak di dada waktu bertugas.. hati kusut dan terkenang.. alangkah indah nya jika raya tahun ani ..... Ya Allah..

Even now.. sms yang di terima dari kawan kawan membuat kan me tersenyum.. tetapi sms yang di hantar dari my beloved one mengoyak hati rasa terharu me oleh nya.. My beloved one inda happy this raya... Ps. i am not talking about my other half.. i am talking about ...... I am sorry..

Menitik air mata apabila mengetahui air mata tertitis ... sakit eh. Like makan pun inda kenyang, bercakap pun angan angan.. lain rasa nya bila sudah besar like this.. bukan nya kanak kanak inda kan merasa, dah dewasa ani terasa jua.. I am sorry.