FORGIVENESS

Balik from work i hug my mom... and told her i love her and i ask for her forgiveness. Mom hug me and kiss me. I felt like a child.. like a child...

BERAYA TADI ...

Uda laki duduk sebelah. Menyirup sup sambil bercerita with me. Uda pakai pink today. Light pink. Juga other cousin's son pun pakai pink. Jam pink and well... not sure kasut pink kah apa. Yang siok yeah with cousins and uda, tangah and the rest of them relatives.

One moment.... i sat tadi with uda laki. Bercerita pasal Babah. Sabak menitik air mata. Kata Uda he was more than a brother to him. He was just everything. He was something. Uda said i stop fishing... Babah love to fish. And Uda just talk about him.. He said he missed Babah so much.. and without realizing my tears menitik. I wish...

Uda was closed to Babah.. very close. I am so happy though sad .. someone really close menceritakan about him. Something good. Something i missed too ... Al Fatihah untuk Babah Hj.Zainal Abidin Bin Ladi.. semoga rohnya di cucuri rahmat dan di tempatkan di tempat orang orang yang beriman.. Amin..

Pedih eh.. pedih.. kerinduan terlalu pedih untuk di alami. Yang telah pergi begitu lah ceritanya.. sempat uda menyampok sambil mengosok gosok kepala me .. kata uda.. well everybody have to go jua someday..

Been Hard

Thought its going to be easy and simple. Makin hampir makin siksa kepala memikirkan. Terlalu menyakitkan kata kata halangan.. but what? i am not a child and i have my own choice in my life. When people fail in life.. that's not fail. Its just a test from Allah. And that doesn't mean she/he fail, i would fail too...

Since the day i made up my mind, i thought i was doing the right thing. But someone disagree. Some i love so dearly.. why?? I am so hurt but i just have to ignor that feeling because i didnt want it to spoil my thinking...

I wish... but of course lah. Deep inside Allah saja yang mengetahui. Lemah me menahan rasa.. How i wish Babah is around so i can get advice from him.. Ya Allah...

Since malam raya i have not been so tenang.. but alhamdulillah tenang me menjalankan tugas. Amat besar dan berat dugaan yang di beri tapi i know yang di beri setentunya dapat di handle tapi again berat.. sampai pada raya pertama kan menangis sebak di dada waktu bertugas.. hati kusut dan terkenang.. alangkah indah nya jika raya tahun ani ..... Ya Allah..

Even now.. sms yang di terima dari kawan kawan membuat kan me tersenyum.. tetapi sms yang di hantar dari my beloved one mengoyak hati rasa terharu me oleh nya.. My beloved one inda happy this raya... Ps. i am not talking about my other half.. i am talking about ...... I am sorry..

Menitik air mata apabila mengetahui air mata tertitis ... sakit eh. Like makan pun inda kenyang, bercakap pun angan angan.. lain rasa nya bila sudah besar like this.. bukan nya kanak kanak inda kan merasa, dah dewasa ani terasa jua.. I am sorry.

US

This is our story. it begins today. heheh.. I am making my new Dream Book. Well not really making a new one but just making everything clear. I choose FREEDOM because when you let everything in your heart, you will have the freedom of everything. You probably are not sure or dont understand what i am trying to say ya.. but as long as i know, that will do. Its like crazy author. Em.. ada tu. But yeah crazy true, you got to be crazier than others to have FREEDOM.. put your hands up... Put your hands up... sounds familiar?

We're going to kb for sungkai. And yes lots of plans ahead. Plan plan plan.. thats what we do.. how far you plan and how far you're done with that plan don't know ya. But its good to plan than not to plan at all...